30 results found for tag 'ass'
|77||Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?||Yeah he got a little behind in his work!|
|78||Why was the rubber band gun confiscated during algebra class?||It was a weapon of math destruction!|
|79||What did the sign at the drug rehab center read?||"KEEP OFF THE GRASS!"|
|154||What did the masseuse eat for dinner?||Spa-ghetti!|
|193||Did you hear the one about the two peanuts?||One was assaulted!|
|198||Did you hear about the eye doctor on the Alaskan island?||Turned out he was an optical Aleutian.|
|227||What's the difference between a short Eskimo and a fat eunuch?||One's a frigid midget with a rigid digit, and the other is a massive vassal with a passive tassel!|
|253||What do you call a potato wearing glasses?||A spectator!|
|324||Why did the chicken eject the cassette tape?||To get to the other side!|
|325||What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?||Beer.|
|358||What did the NSA agent say on his first date?||I'm gonna wiretap that ass!|
|401||Why couldn't the DJ fish?||He kept dropping the bass!|
|406||Why did Pavlov have such soft hair?||Classic conditioning!|
|411||Why doesn't Magneto wear purple anymore?||Because the days of fuchsia passed!|
|414||What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?||It's pasture bedtime!|
|423||What kind of weed do lizards smoke?||Mariguana!|
|429||What do you call an artist with a brown finger?||Picassole!|
|437||What does Cinderella do when she gets to the ball?||Gag!|
|455||What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?||A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter!|
|503||What do you call a British assassin?||An arsearsein!|
|525||Why don't ambassadors ever get sick?||They have diplomatic immunity!|
|541||What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?||Hand eeeeeyeeeeee!|
|546||How do locomotives know where to go?||They go through lots of training!|
|550||How did Juliet remain at a constant pH and body temperature?||Romeostasis!|
|586||What do you call a caveman who wanders around aimlessly?||A meanderthal!|
|602||How do you sexually harass a classical music fan?||You grab em by Debussy!|
|613||Why did the old lady fall in the well?||Because she didn't see that well.|
|708||What happens when you mix anti-depressants and Viagra?||When you cum, the glass is half full.|
|739||Why can't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three?||Because the signs all say "NO TRES-PASSING"!|
|742||What do you get when you cross a pirate and a pedophile?||Arrrgghh Kelly!|
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