30 results found for tag 'ass'
| ID | Setup | Punchline | Tags |
|---|---|---|---|
| 77 | Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder? | Yeah he got a little behind in his work! | |
| 78 | Why was the rubber band gun confiscated during algebra class? | It was a weapon of math destruction! | |
| 79 | What did the sign at the drug rehab center read? | "KEEP OFF THE GRASS!" | |
| 154 | What did the masseuse eat for dinner? | Spa-ghetti! | |
| 193 | Did you hear the one about the two peanuts? | One was assaulted! | |
| 198 | Did you hear about the eye doctor on the Alaskan island? | Turned out he was an optical Aleutian. | |
| 227 | What's the difference between a short Eskimo and a fat eunuch? | One's a frigid midget with a rigid digit, and the other is a massive vassal with a passive tassel! | |
| 253 | What do you call a potato wearing glasses? | A spectator! | |
| 324 | Why did the chicken eject the cassette tape? | To get to the other side! | |
| 325 | What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? | Beer. | |
| 358 | What did the NSA agent say on his first date? | I'm gonna wiretap that ass! | |
| 401 | Why couldn't the DJ fish? | He kept dropping the bass! | |
| 406 | Why did Pavlov have such soft hair? | Classic conditioning! | |
| 411 | Why doesn't Magneto wear purple anymore? | Because the days of fuchsia passed! | |
| 414 | What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? | It's pasture bedtime! | |
| 423 | What kind of weed do lizards smoke? | Mariguana! | |
| 429 | What do you call an artist with a brown finger? | Picassole! | |
| 437 | What does Cinderella do when she gets to the ball? | Gag! | |
| 455 | What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? | A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter! | |
| 503 | What do you call a British assassin? | An arsearsein! | |
| 525 | Why don't ambassadors ever get sick? | They have diplomatic immunity! | |
| 541 | What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? | Hand eeeeeyeeeeee! | |
| 546 | How do locomotives know where to go? | They go through lots of training! | |
| 550 | How did Juliet remain at a constant pH and body temperature? | Romeostasis! | |
| 586 | What do you call a caveman who wanders around aimlessly? | A meanderthal! | |
| 602 | How do you sexually harass a classical music fan? | You grab em by Debussy! | |
| 613 | Why did the old lady fall in the well? | Because she didn't see that well. | |
| 708 | What happens when you mix anti-depressants and Viagra? | When you cum, the glass is half full. | |
| 739 | Why can't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three? | Because the signs all say "NO TRES-PASSING"! | |
| 742 | What do you get when you cross a pirate and a pedophile? | Arrrgghh Kelly! |
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