14 results found for tag 'off'
|19||What did one casket say to the other casket?||"Is that you coffin?"|
|34||A man orders coffee in a restaurant. He takes a sip and spits it out, yelling, "This coffee tastes like mud!"||The waiter comes by and says, "Yes, sir. It's fresh ground."|
|79||What did the sign at the drug rehab center read?||"KEEP OFF THE GRASS!"|
|262||What do you call an overpriced circumcision?||A rip off!|
|362||What does American coffee and having sex in a canoe have in common?||It's fucking close to water!|
|370||Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on Viagra?||They couldn't close the coffin!|
|448||What did Mike Tyson say to Vincent van Gogh?||"You gonna eat that?"|
|483||What do you call a tree with all its branches cut off?||An ampu-tree!|
|511||Why did the coffee file a police report?||It got mugged!|
|547||What do you call a procrastinating woodpecker?||A wouldpecker!|
|679||Why do police love arcades?||Because they give lots of tickets!|
|681||Did you hear about the guy who didn't use spreadsheets for fourty days and fourty nights?||He said it was Excel Lent!|
|711||What do you call a cow masturbating in a field?||Beef stroganoff.|
|792||Why are accountants excited to work on the weekend?||Because they get to wear casual clothes to the office!|
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